


Merchant Prince of Aincrad

by Agent_94



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29919318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_94/pseuds/Agent_94
Summary: "What? Going into a dungeon? Fighting monsters? And getting dirty?" The merchant in expensive silks laughed. "Why do that when you can hire mercenaries to do the job. Anyway, I heard you wanted a loan for that magic sword?"Kazuto Kirigaya doesn't like fighting. He likes trading and haggling and making money. Much safer than swinging a sword at monsters, yuck! Besides, that was what his fearless Asuna was for anyway. KiriSuna, Kiri/Multi (maybe)
Relationships: Argo/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito, Asada Shino | Sinon/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito, Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published on 21st January 2021 on FF dot net.

_"Hello Potion Seller. I am going into battle and I want your strongest potions."_

_\- Justin Kuritzkes_

The raid wasn't going well.

Indeed, one might say it was going disastrously.

There were forty-four of them in total and half were suffering minor wounds and a couple were on the brink of death, their health bars blinking red like an emergency light.

Though they felt no sense of pain save for the dread of death. They were fighting extremely cautiously. What would take a few minutes in the beta took half an hour currently. Better than fighting recklessly yes, but also much _much_ slower.

Diavel thought he could whip up a probable fighting force. Give the rest of the playerbase a sense of hope in these dark times. He thought they could be freed from this horrid Death Game.

Training? He drilled them to march like the lockstep legions of Rome. Discipline? He had to expel a dozen players early on for not being serious. Orders? He chose officers to keep the men in line.

But Diavel did forget one crucial thing.

In an abandoned room of the dungeon complex, stomachs were growling.

He forgot to bring the damn food.

"Diavel, boss," said Kibaou. "I think we should -"

"No, Kibaou. I don't think that's a good idea." This was the third time he bought it up. "We can't retreat. The dungeon's not cleared yet. And if we leave, they _will_ respawn."

Kibaou nodded. "We can send a runner."

"Yes, and it'll take a day or so till they reach Horunka, and another day to gather all the food, and another day they return here, that's assuming no random encounter gibs them on the way. We can't leave, don't you understand?!"

Diavel ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, this is my fault. I shouldn't have snapped. I should have remembered about bringing enough food."

"It's fine, boss."

"No, it really isn't." He paced around his corner of the room, what appeared to be an old barracks of sorts. The wounded were lying on beds, waiting for their HP to refill. They've exhausted what little medicine they've had as well. I

The raid team were in a precarious predicament. They can either return to Horunka and have their fill, fix their gear and restock, at the cost of having the monsters respawning and they'll have to fight again.

Or they could forge on ahead, pain in their belly and with parched throats, tired and unfocused. It wouldn't take long for the first death to occur and Diavel wasn't sure how his group would react to that.

He was snapped out of his dark mood when one of the players outside came barging in. "Everyone, come out quick! Something's coming, something big!"

Diavel called for battle stations and allowed the most wounded to stay behind and lock the door. If those kobols were sending their best troops, he would have to be right there in the front.

They formed what was an attempt at a shield wall but half of them had no shields and far too many of them wielded either longaxes or greatswords, swinging too haphazardly or too conservatively to do any real damage. They practiced in an open field but the dungeon had little in the way of that, just corridor after corridor of monsters.

The current chamber was at least spacious: a circular hall connecting with three hallways. One was where they came from, one was collapsed and the last was the way to the boss room. Whatever was coming, it was coming from where they had entered the dungeon from.

Diavel closed his visor and rallied his team. His officers did the same. Someone was complaining how they haven't eaten in almost a day before Kibaou shut them up.

"Ready, men! Death or glory!" If they were to die here, perhaps that would inspire the others to take up their swords and finish the fight. Quite literally, he wasn't going to care if someone else came and looted his corpse.

Stress turned to silence. Silence turned to fear. Fear turned to confusion as the thing approached.

"What the hell?" said a spearwoman. Diavel concurred.

"Ho, dungeon divers! I see you've found yourself in a predicament!" said a robed teenage player. "I followed the kobold corpses here and what do you know, it was only a matter of time until I found you stalwart warriors!"

He had two mules with him, with bags and boxes strapped onto their backs. His only companion was a girl in a red cloak. She unfurled a mat right on the floor.

The newcomer rummaged through one of the bags. "Ah, perhaps you find a need for tools, I have just that! He placed a box of spare parts onto the floor, hammers, pliers, rings of mail and leather strips.

"I see some of you aren't in the best of shape. Good grief! Potions for the body, healing for the soul!" Glowing bottles of potions were spread out on the map, complete with price tags tied around the necks.

There was an audible sniff in the hall from numerous players. Even Kibaou wasn't immune to it. "Is that … food, I smell?" he asked.

"Asuna-chan, if you pleased?" He clapped his hands dramatically as if he was ordering a servant.

Asuna rolled her eyes and produced a large wicker basket from the second mule.

Steam rose from the basket. A second basket joined the first and Diavel could sense all the players' agro homing towards them.

"Bread for all! Freshly baked from the Horunka's finest bakeries! Get them while they're hot! Butter's only 50 col a jar!"

It was at that point Diavel lost control of his raid group as the players immediately descended on the merchant like the dungeon monsters they've just faced.

And they would stampede over him had the swordswoman not unsheathed her sword and stopped the human wave with a steely glare.

"Listen, I really appreciate your help uh …"

"Kirito, CEO of the Kirito Corporation, humble sutler at your service! Nice to meet you, Knight Diavel," he said, vigorously shaking the raid leader's hand.

The atmosphere made a complete 180. Instead of doom, relief. Tiredness replaced by respite. Campfires were made to boil large pots of tea that the merchant brought with him. It resembled less a dilapidated dungeon and more of a comfy restaurant, if you ignored the filth and dead kobolds of course.

The girl known as Asuna was not going about pouring tea and refilled Diavel's own clay cup. Knight and merchant sat upon a mat and enjoyed their drinks.

"Oh, so you've heard of me?"

"Indeed! Half the player base probably has. Brave man leading brave folks, freeing us from the tyranny of Kayaba. This dungeon diving business, tsk tsk. Not for me, sir."

Diavel glanced at the mules. The small pile of things on them were almost entirely gone. The barracks were cleaned as the Clearers helped to themselves to the medicine.

Diavel leaned over. "I don't know how you knew, but you just saved my bacon. I am eternally grateful. We don't have much in the way of wealth on us -"

"Oh I know."

He continued. "I'm sure we can work something out. We still have a dungeon to clear after all.'

Kirito scratched his chin and pondered. "Hmm, some of the loot would be nice."

Diavel was dreading this. Even in the days of the beta, the splitting of loot for boss dungeons was a touchy thing considering SAO didn't have instances. A Unique Weapon or Armor was a one time drop, and if that was lost it was lost basically forever.

Kirito reached for a parchment from inside his robe and handed it to him. Diavel skimmed the document.

He bit his lip. "70% of the dropped loot huh. That includes …"

"No, I don't want the boss gear. You can keep it to yourself. I'm not _that_ greedy."

That was a weight off his shoulders. Still, he was unsure. "70% seems a bit high though. What if we just … pay for your services?" Maybe he could just scrounge up enough money to make a profit.

Kirito produced an abacus from thin air and started doing calculations. Diavel had no idea how to use one and couldn't follow the calculations.

The sutler wrote down his price on another note and passed it onto the raid leader.

If reading text could give psychic damage, Diavel would have been reduced to zero hit points.

They shook on it.

* * *

The raid went miraculously well. So well in fact that it went better than the opening dive itself.

Illfang the Kobold Lord lay dead amongst his minions. Already the Clearers were raiding his treasure pile in the corner of the boss room. Kirito and Asuna stayed at the back of the room and the pile of kobolds that lay dead at her feet made Diavel regret not recruiting her into his party.

Kirito did nothing. Just sipped his tea and watched, unbothered at the battle that unfolded before him.

The knight rubbed his stomach, realising how dented his breastplate was. Diavel took a massive hit from Illfang's tulwar and he would be bisected had he not repaired his armour. He was only somewhat injured but a quick top of a potion fixed that right up.

That would be real bad, dying to the first boss. If Heaven existed, the dead would not have let him forget about it.

He heard clapping from behind. "Well done, Diavel-san! Ingenious tactics. Tsun Zu should hire you to write his next book."

"You know, you could have help."

Kirito glanced down at his belt. "Oh this? This sword is for show. I don't think I've ever used it myself."

Kibaou appeared, no worse for wear. "Okay, so uh, the quest is updated. We were supposed to just kill Ilffang and get our rewards right?"

Well yes, that's what happened in the beta Diavel recalled. "We collect our bounty and get paid, what's the issue exactly?"

Kibaou scratched his head. "Well, the thing is …"

Diavel glanced at his Quest Log. "

_Quest Updated! - Kobolds in the Ruins:_

_\- Slay Illfang the Kobold Lord -_ [X]

_\- Return Illfang's Corpse to the Mayor of Tolbanna [ ]_

Kibaou continued, "We'll need a cart … and mules …"

Diavel looked at Kirito and could physically see the Yen symbols appearing in his eyes.

His bodyguard sighed for the umpnteeth time, wondering how she got herself into this.

* * *

An iron sword costs 50 Col. A basic helmet costs 100 Col. A mail shirt costs 150 Col. In total, that's 300 Col.

Every character started off with 500 Col in their inventory. By design, this allowed 200 Col left to buy potions and the lowest level health potion costs 60 Col. That's 20 Col left.

Kazuto Kirigaya, or Kirito in this virtual world, would take advantage of this.

Kirito found himself outside the city and a small army of players were doing battle against that most dangerous and ubiquitous of low level enemies: the Blue Pig.

He sat on a farm fence, watching a player with a rapier trying, and failing, to cut at one of with a rapier.

The girl slammed into her, throwing her into the air. He was sure that the boar was some chuckling to itself.

The girl got the last laugh as she jammed her sword right into its side. The boar collapsed dead.

In celebration of this act of heroism, she did a little victory dance. That's when Kirito introduced himself.

"Hey there! Looks like you got a bit hurt!"

The girl turned around. "Yeah, looks like I did. Uh, how do you like, get back your hurt points?"

At this, Kirito was confused. "Have you never played a video game before?"

She giggled and scratched her head. "Ha, not really! Name's Asuna."

"Kirito. Nice to meet you, Asuna." Kirito opened his jacket, revealing numerous potions inside. "Want a health potion? It's free."

"Oh wow, thanks!" She downed the potion in a swig. "Is there anything I can make up to you?"

"Well … I am in the market for a bodyguard …"

Looking back on it, Asuna really shouldn't have taken that deal. Stupid one year contract.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a crosspost from fanfiction dot net. If this gets enough interest, I might put up the next two chapters and future chapters here as well.


	2. Broke Yojimbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 2nd February 2021 on FF dot net.
> 
> There seems to be an interest, so I decided to post chapter 2. Thanks for the hits/kudos/comments, everyone!

_"Ugh. That armor stinks of death. You been grave robbing?"_

\- Random Skyrim Guard

They've been dungeon diving for what felt like an eternity.

Countless undead fell before them. Fell beasts were slain. Acts of valour and heroism that bards could only dream to pen down happened in these dark hallways.

They reached the end of the castle. Once a lifetime ago, the great hall was a place of luxury and majesty, now it was merely a den of filth and deviancy. Sitting upon the great throne was none other than Vasilecu von Karstein, the great vampire lord of the cursed Karstein clan, wreathed in ornate black plate. His once handsome and noble visage was replaced with the tightly wrapped pale skin of a devil. Upon his lap was Bloodshedder, that mighty greatsword forged in the blood of a hundred virgins and its wicked blade the death of many a righteous paladin.

The heroes, all six of them, approached with silver weapons raised.

Vasilecu addressed the mortals, "Oh, you're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?"

The leader of the adventures retorted, "I can't cut your head off without coming closer."

"Oh ho, then come as close as you like, foolish samurai!"

The vampire lord stood from his throne and threw off his cape. He wielded Bloodshedder in one hand as easily one would a fencing blade. Great black wings emerged from his back and he leapt upon the adventurers like an apex predator.

An arrow with a silver head pierced his eye and he promptly crumpled to the earth. The FuurinKazan surrounded the vampire's prone form and depleted his health bar in under thirty seconds.

It was like beating a pinata, except the pinata was an ancient evil and instead of candy it was blood and XP. So not really like a pinata at all if you thought about it.

"You know, we should have done this a lot sooner," said Klein, wiping the ichor off his sword.

"I told you, dude. Silver weapons for the win!" said Harry One.

"Yeah, but I mean." Klein sighed as he sheathed his short sword. "It's not a silver katana."

"Listen man, as much as we agree to cosplay as samurai, there's just not enough samurai-ish gear to go around for all of us," said Dale, who was wearing the armour of some fearsome Mongol general.

"But the brand …"

The entire guild sighed. This wasn't the first time Klein was going on about "the brand".

"Fine, fine. Let's loot the place and leave." See, that's why he was the leader. His friends just didn't understand.

It was a good haul by all accounts. The castle was an old, dilapidated place with plenty of rooms and treasures stored. There was the vendor trash sure, but there was also the odd jewelry and arcane tomes. The dungeon required a minimum of fifteen players to clear but Klein and his buddies were used to raiding dungeons without passing the minimum requirements, why should SAO be any different?

Besides, the profit from the haul will let him accomplish other goals. Things that will greatly increase his guild's renown and soon all of Aincrad will know of the FurinKazan guild.

He'd have to go behind the guild's back for this. It was a risky thing to do, it might even ruin his friendship, but being a leader meant doing unpopular things and that was something he was willing to risk.

* * *

The remnants of the FuurinKazan gathered solemnly at the edge of Aincrad. It was morning and the sun was rising from the east. At their feet was the prone body of Klein, still and silent.

Kuunimitz began, "Ryoutarou, know that I always appreciated you not just as a fellow player or worker, but I also appreciate and love you as a friend. If we ever escape this death game, know that I will personally go to your mother and apologise for her son's passing."

"Look guys, can we talk about this?" asked Klein, currently tied head to toe in rope and blindfolded. Somehow his gag got loose.

"No. All in favour of throwing our ex-leader off Aincrad, say aye."

There was a unanimous and hearty "aye!" from everyone.

The risk Klein took was calculated but man, was he bad at math.

"Guys please I'm sorry I'm sorry! I fucked up, yes, but I had your best interest at heart! I was going to a deal with a trustworthy merchant, really!" Klein was actively crying at this point.

"Crocodile tears!" said Dynamn. "This isn't the first time you ran off with guild funds for your own wants, Klein! In the last MMO game we let you act as treasurer and then you went off to make a big tiddy cat girl avatar and spent _thousands_ on clothes!"

Harry One pointed an accusing finger at him. "Remember the time you borrowed my car for the weekend and came back with a car with an empty tank and filled with pizza boxes?!"

Dale chipped in. "Remember when you agreed to pay half the rent for the apartment, but you haven't helped pay for half the year?"

"I told you I needed the money to pay for my girlfriend's birthday gift, and you didn't and I had to explain to her I lent my money to my idiot friend" said Issin, kicking Klein in the ribs.

Kuunimitz was the last and the most bitter. "And what did you do with the money from the dungeon haul? Did you use it to spend on medicine or food or upgrades? NO, YOU SPENT IT ON SOME GIRL, EXCEPT SHE WASN'T EVEN A REAL GIRL. SHE WAS AN NPC THAT REPEATS THE SAME THREE LINES!"

On the downside, he was being kicked quite heavily and his HP was going down sure. But on the upside, if he can survive the onslaught, they may be too tired to actually throw him off Aincrad.

He took some pride knowing that if he died, he died spending the evening with the cute Madellline-chan, Aincrad's most beautiful milkmaid.

It was a bad situation, but he had been in worse ones, for sure. Oh damnit, his health was at the halfway point now and Harry One was wearing steel boots.

Klein's health was at the quarter way point before his teammates finally stopped kicking. They heard clapping.

The men turned around to see a player in fancy robes sitting on a chair (how the hell did that get here?) and a cup of tea in his hand.

"Good morning, gentlemen! I see you're trying to commit first degree murder. How's that going?"

"Why, you gonna snitch on us or something?" said Kunimitz.

"Hey kid, if you get these traitors off my ass, I'll pay you a ton of Col!" said Klein. For that, Klein got kicked in the jaw.

The stranger finished his tea and stood up. "I know a group of fighting-men when I see them. I know that despite your current anger towards your leader, you are an impressive fighting force. That maybe, you are indeed a noble band of brot-"

"Get on with it, kid."

He produced a contract from his robe. "I need you for a job. Interested?"

* * *

"This is beneath us. We're all level 9, damnit. We should be slaying monsters instead of this noob shit."

"Klein, we have literally no money because of you so shut the hell up," said Kunimitz.

Not many people get the chance of someone fixing their mistakes. Once, Klein fell off his bike and his father helped put a bandage on his scraped knee. It was the only single thing he remembered about his old man. Then his old man went to the store to get some cigarettes and was never seen again.

What was he doing again? Oh right. The job.

Their current employer (that's how the smarmy kid addressed himself) magnanimously offered to pay for the cost of repairs. Swords sharpened, arrows replenished, armour buffed and cleaned. Bloodshedder was forever lost in the endless inventory of NPC merchants but at least their equipment was still working. Dale, being the greatsword build of the group, still refused to speak to him.

They gathered at an inn at the edge of the 3rd Floor. Kirito had rented the basement and graciously provided the room and board for the entire FurinKazaan. Now they were crowding a table and on it was a map of the Floor. This alone was a great benefit considering how most players, the FuurinKazan included, usually spent half their earnings on food and drink.

"You see this area here?" said Kirito, pointing to the forested area of the fourth floor. "This here is the spot of an ancient battlefield and I need you to kill every single zombie there."

"Right. Grind zombies and collect trash loot, I see what you're doing." It was a simple job sure and the XP totally wasn't worth it, but it was certainly something. The number seemed concerning, but it was nothing they couldn't do.

"I also need you all to wear those dresses," he said, pointing to a pile of moth-eaten silks in the corner.

Say what now?

"Hey, Kirito. Boss-man. Maybe I got kicked too much in the head, but did you just say we have to fight a thousand undead while wearing dresses?"

The merchant scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous! It's only like two hundred at most."

"But why though?" asked Harry One.

"Well, you see …"

Klein kinda droned out at that point but the long and short of it was so:

«The Brides of the Blackguard» was the tale of six random village girls who were captured by some infamous bandit lord. Refusing to be married to such a monster, they broke out of the Blackguard's castle, ransacked his armoury and were hunted down by his soldiers. They made a valiant last stand, slaughtered hundreds of his soldiers before finally killing the villain themselves.

By recreating the story and killing so many undead, they would hopefully revive the spirit of the Blackguard himself, kill the big baddie and loot his corpse. It was a stupidly obscure quest, and somehow Kirito found the legend and the ritualistic know-how to trigger it.

"And we need to wear wedding dresses?" asked Kunimitz.

"Without them, you're just grinding zombies, you need them to activate a quest trigger! Do you know how hard it is to get these dresses? I had to pay top Col to get these things stolen from like six different temples," Kirito complained.

"You realise we're all dudes, right? We'll be cross-dressers!" said Dynamn. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, you know." He then coughed awkwardly.

Kirito tapped a book on the table, it was titled _The Fighting Women of Aincrad and Other Feminist Icons_. "There's nothing that says the quest needed female players to wear the dress."

"Can't you get girls to do this?"

"I could hire others sure, but why do that when I can get a smaller guild for cheap? Besides, most female players aren't dumb enough to pay exorbitantly to go on a date with an NPC."

Before his men could glare him to death Klein asked for one last thing, "Can you at least wash the dresses? They smell really really bad."

"Absolutely not."

Klein was at least glad they were in the middle of nowhere. The dresses were of very little Durability and a single clumsy swipe from a zombie would destroy their dress and leave them wearing nothing but their underwear. If those village girls ransacked the armoury, they could have at least stolen some armour or something.

Klein had nightmares of going out in public wearing nothing but his underwear but this was ridiculous. Of course, Kirito was nowhere in sight. Can't pay you if I die after all, he said.

A zombie with a spear approached him but Klein sent a kick at his leg and stabbed him right through his chest.

He glanced at the counter floating in his HUD: _43 out of 215 zombies killed._

This was gonna be a long day.

It wasn't so bad. The dresses were easy to move in (somehow) and did nothing to restrict their movements. The zombies were low level, wearing rusted armour and wielding broken weapons. They even had a nice little encampment set up, brush behind them, trenches dug in the front and wooden spikes emplaced in the dirt.

There was nothing like a good zombie grind. By the third wave all of them somewhat forgot they were doing this ridiculous quest. The most dangerous mobs weren't the shambling dead but the few skirmishers at the back hurling their blunt javelins, all of which were easily shot down before being able to get into range.

Dale swung his massive nodachi, decapitating three zombies at once. "You know, this dress is pretty airy. You kinda forget how agile you are without armour."

Kuunimitz landed an expert headshot on a skirmisher and reached for another arrow. "It's fine I guess. Why do I have to wear the pink dress? I hate pink. Why can't I wear blue?"

"Because I called dibs, besides, I look amazing in this!" said Harry, burying his axe in another zombie's head. "I bet Blackguard-chan would think me the cutest."

They all laughed, save for Klein. As long as he didn't remind them why they were here in the first place, the less likely they would try to kill him.

Morning became noon and noon became evening. The zombies' slowness worked in and against their favour. It allowed them to rest and eat in one-man shift rotations. On the downside, it was literally taking all day.

As the sun was setting, and the two hundred mark reached, their end was in sight. What was once a field of rotting corpses was thinning out. They had a few arrows left. The stench was horrible, but it was almost over and they were sweating grown men wearing hundred year old dresses.

Dynamn killed the 214th zombie and the atmosphere suddenly changed. The warm evening turned cold and dark clouds gathered overhead Lightning struck the nearby hill, exploding with dirt and gravel.

First came the head of a horse. Glowing red eyes burning in its skull and it came out of the ground in full plate barding. A hand then followed as they saw a shape of a man digging himself from the earth. He stood an impressive six feet three, clad in plate not unlike the vampire lord from before. When he spoke out, his voice boomed across the field:

" **COME TO ME MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDES. LET US WED IN LAWFUL EVIL MARRIAGE IN THE SIGHT OF THE DEMON LORD!"**

He was level a 14 mini-boss. They were on Floor 3 and level 9.

"Uh guys, I don't think I want to date Blackguard-chan anymore," said Harry One.

The villain mounted his skeletal steed and from the ground sprouted a long lance with a golden dragon at its tip. He thundered down the hill, his hell-horse leaving flaming hoof prints. His lance in his fist and the shield with the demon lord's face painted on it. Years of being buried did little to hinder his lust for his harem.

They all loosed arrows but the missiles did little. They bounced off both man and beast and a scant few buried themselves in the shield.

"Shit, we're out of arrows!" said Kunimitz.

So that's why Kirito gave them half a dozen spears in the first place. "Everyone grab spears!" shouted Klein.

They didn't need to be told twice. They huddled themselves in a poor man's phalanx. No shields and no armour. Their short weapons, powerful in their own right lacked the reach. One of them was going to get struck down, he just knew it.

The Blackguard was halfway there. His glowing red eyes were visible from under his helmet.

He lowered his lance. It was only a little bit longer than their spears and Klein was sure one of them was going to die.

The Blackguard was fast approaching. He was screaming incoherently about waifus.

"Men," he said, "I'm sorry for being a dumb leader and a bad friend. If we live through this, I'll pay all of my debts. I promise."

The sound of hooves was like thunder and the sheer amount of armour on the mini-boss was less like a knight on horseback and more like staring down a speeding truck.

The mini-boss was ten paces away when a figure came running from behind them. They climbed onto Dale's back and launched themselves off the player, a long jump that would make an Olympian athlete envious.

The stranger struck the Blackguard right in his helmet's eye-slit, the long and sharp rapier outright killing him as quickly as the lightning flash that raised him from his grave. The bandit lord collapsed and dragged his hell-horse down with him as the stranger let go of their sword and landed safely.

Finally, after an entire day of fighting, the FurinKazaan allowed themselves to collapse.

* * *

"Usually I'd have choice words for kill-stealer but you're alright, Asuna-san," said Klein.

Asuna only shrugged. Not much of a talker this girl.

They were back at the inn, patched up and dining on some good food. In the corner of the basement was the armour of the Blackguard, clean and shiny. A good long bath and they were in good spirits. The wedding dresses, still unwashed, lay piled in the corner.

Kirito poured a glass of wine for everyone. Not that he or Asuna could get drunk of course, that was for players twenty and above only, the legal drinking age of Japan. Sure, Kayaba made a game that could literally kill them, but at least he cared about children getting drunk. Such a thoughtful guy, that Kayaba.

"This suit of plate has a base price of 15,000 Col. If I go to the right person and sell them this, I'll make a hefty profit thanks to you brave yojimbo. I got what I wanted, you get a roof over your head and meals for a week, you level up _and_ get paid. What's not to like?" said Kirito.

"Well, the pay is pretty good," Dynamm admitted. It wasn't a super big haul but it was a salary and a decent one at that.

Kirito raised his glass. "A toast for our successful endeavour between the FurinKazaan and the Kirito Corporation!"

The party celebrated with a "Kanpai!" before downing their drinks.

Kirito clasped his hands. "Alright, don't stay up too late, you have more work to do tomorrow!"

Klein nodded. "Right, the contract says we work for a week, so that's another six days. So what other dungeons will you be sending off to?" As long as he didn't wear a damn dress older than modern Japan he was content to do whatever the kid wanted him to.

The merchant munched on a loaf of bread. "Oh? The same one. I want you guys to repeat the Brides of the Blackguard quest six more times."

The room went quiet. Glasses of wine shattered on the floor. The FuurinKazan suddenly laser eyes which they were using to kill Klein. He could _feel_ the exact moment when the temperature dropped in the room and knew for a fact, he would be murdered in his sleep.

Kirito continued, "By the way, you still aren't allowed to wash those dresses."

One week later, merchant and bodyguard found themselves on the 4th Floor main road, the back of their wagon rattling with several identical suits of plate armour. Asuna had the reins in hand as Kirito made notes in his books.

"So, what are we to do next?" she asked. She was wearing some top-of-the-line red arming jacket and her new sword was an upgrade in every single way.

Kirito snapped the book shut. "We're heading into the wilds. We need to recruit a certain blue haired sharpshooter for our next job."


End file.
